Spilling.

All right. I've been ignoring you again.

Not that I want to make excuses, but I'm right in the midst of one of the busiest travel seasons in my job (I leave again this Sunday) and I'm still frantically trying to navigate the whole, two-dog household thing. Needless to say, things have been a little off-the-charts busy lately and as much as I wish I could write...

Actually, I haven't had a damn thing to talk about in the last ten days. It's been work as usual and the whole grad school application process is nowhere near as interesting to anyone else as it is to me. But beneath the monotony of my day-to-day, my mind has been occupied with things I'm not quite ready to put to print. So I suppose there you have the real reason I've been avoiding you. It's not that I have nothing TO say, but rather I have nothing I CAN say.

It's funny - as much as this is supposed to be a free and unrestricted extension of myself, there are so many things I'm unable to post. So here I am, typing meaningless chatter and pointless small talk in order to avoid the inevitable spill.

So to put it briefly, vaguely and without really any satisfaction for either of us, the gears are turning. And for now, that's really all I can put to print.

The Bright Side

Ever have one of those absolutely fantastic, gloriously simple kind of days where everything just sort of falls into place?

Me neither - usually. But Friday could have invented that category.

I should probably rewind here and start from the beginning. Friday morning, I took the GRE. As you may know, I've been pseudo-studying for about five weeks for this entrance exam, staring down the only unknown between me and graduate school. But between work travel and adding a second four-legged son to the family, things have been hectic and the studying has fallen by the wayside. So, I wasn't feeling entirely prepared and was really dreading taking that test.

I totally rocked it. 

Did I get an out-of-this-world score? No. Did I get as good of a score as I would have had I studied more? Maybe, maybe not. But none of that matters because I got a better score than what I needed for both of the programs I'm considering. And I was flying high leaving that testing center knowing that all of the other pieces of my application are under my control. 

After the exam, I had a chance to meet up with an old friend. We had a photo shoot planned to help her build her growing portfolio but we were canceled because of the rain. 

And. It. Was. Awesome.

We rescheduled the shoot for a drier date yet-to-be-determined, so instead of us trying to awkwardly maneuver around puddles and mud, we had a chance to just sit and catch up on the six (seven?) or so years it's been since we've really spent any time together. And the ease with which we caught up around her dining room table reminded me of the exact reason we were close to inseparable for the better part of a decade. 

Because real friends don't have to catch up; you just pick up right where you left off.

After I left her apartment, the whole family got together for a spur-of-the-moment dinner in celebration of me surpassing my expectations for the GRE. It was unplanned, we had to wait and it was smokier than all get out in our favorite meeting spot. But the food was delicious, the beer was cold and I got a free pen from our favorite waitress. 

And it couldn't have been better.

Bows and Arrows

Valentine's Day has come and gone, and here we are on February 15th. And while I have fallen incredibly behind on posting (read: work trip that sucked the life out of me for a week), I absolutely refused to post on Valentine's Day out of principle. 

Why, you might ask? Isn't it just a stupid Hallmark holiday with no real value?

Whatever. It's my first Valentine's Day with the 100% positive, no-doubt-about-it last Valentine I'll ever have, and any waking hours I had outside of work I wanted to spend with him. We made absolutely no plans, swore off gifts and yet, when I walked in the door, there were flowers waiting for me. And he knew my favorite bouquet: inexpensive, beautiful flowers that don't break the bank but that inspire the same smile as dozens of generic roses. He knows I think expensive flowers are a waste of money but that fresh flowers in the house (of any variety) make me feel like a stupid, spoiled, silly little girl.

It's OK - if you have to leave to vomit, I'll wait. Seriously, go ahead, I'll wait. 

But isn't this what loving is all about? And indeed, what Valentine's Day SHOULD be about? It's not about making expensive plans at a lavish restaurant and throwing cash at a few stems that will wilt in less than a week. It's really about taking time to make the people in your life the priority they should be, and not allowing for the rest of life to get in the way. 

So I got flowers from my husband. On Valentine's Day. I also got a delicious dinner at Maya's, a little-known place we absolutely love, where we didn't have a wait and where the waitress cared enough to say, "You have been here before and I remember you, but I don't know your names." Seriously? I love this place and even if the food weren't absolutely amazing, I would come back because the people there are fantastic.

But it is amazing. So Carina, we'll see you again.

But most importantly, my husband knows what makes me happy. He bought me flowers to make me smile but didn't spend enough to make me worry about the expense. He took me to a place we both are THRILLED we've found, because the food is only as authentic as the people who serve it. He even held back the urge to tease as I suggested we go to Frisch's for coffee & hot fudge cake after dinner, refusing to admit we're too young to make such a date and allowing me to indulge in a childhood favorite.

And did I mention, he got me a new puppy from the Stray Animal Adoption Program (SAAP) for my birthday? One that stole my heart the moment we walked in and has been wreaking havoc ever since the sixth? 

Yeah. My husband is the greatest. 

Happy Valentine's Day.

Keeping Tabs

So - as some or all of you know, I graduated from college more than two years ago. TWO years ago! I met some of the greatest people I've ever known, learned a ton of things I'll never forget and spent more nights forgetting than I'll ever remember. Unfortunately, things change after you graduate. 

Yes. I'm struggling with it. Back up off me. 

But because I no longer live just blocks away (or doors away) from my college-days best friends, making plans to see them has become a near-impossibility. Because I am no longer the constantly aspiring, A-student, damn-it-I'm-worth-it-point-of-view senior, I spend a lot of time thinking about the steps I didn't take and the ones I should or will. 

But you know that already. Hell, the name of this blog is "Un.Determined." I think we all know I have no idea where I'm going from here. All of that aside, however, I think it's worth mentioning that I've become completely jealous of all the people I know who are following their passions and at the risk of all things sane - doing what they do because they just have to do it. I'm just spending my days figuring out how to copy you. 

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or something like that, right?

Anyway, if you want to know more about what I mean, just take a look at some of the folks I'm "Keeping Tabs" on. So this post is for you - all of the folks that I'm gaining as great new friends and some pretty awesome old ones I'm getting back in touch with. And if you know of more awesome (yes, I hate myself for not coming up with a more applicable word than awesome, but get over it) people I should follow, let me know.

Because all I hope to do is realize some of my passions - writing being number one - and spend some time growing up with all of you. I admire that you're all doing the exact same thing, right in front of me.

And I'm working on getting past the fact that it's not OK to put on a sorority or college T-shirt EVERY day. 

Give me some time.

Studying is hard.

Since the last post, I've been spending much of my free time ignoring you and studying up for the GRE. The test is just over five weeks away, so I'm working my way through a practice book and a stack of vocabulary flash cards virtually guaranteed to result in a better score on the GRE ... or at least, that's what they say. Thanks to my prep book, I've learned how to tackle analogies ( me : analogies = linebacker : quarterback) and tear through sentence ________ (completions).

However, the only thing I've learned from the flash cards is that some of these words have to be fake.

I mean, I have a fairly large vocabulary. I was a Journalism major, I've always enjoyed reading and I play a mean game of Boggle. So how is it that I've never heard of the majority of them?

Exactly. Fake!

Glad you see it my way. Unfortunately, I don't think arguing with the ETS over the validity of their vocabulary will earn me any bonus points, so it looks like I'll be studying them regardless. But, I promise not to bore you every post with GRE updates and I promise not to confuse you by incorporating my new, fancy-schmancy vocabulary words.

After all, we both know I'm not actually going to remember them.

Here Goes Nothing

Well I've been thinking about it for a while, and - I'm going to Graduate School this fall! I (literally) just applied to take the GRE and I am bursting-at-the-seams excited!

Which, of course, is why I immediately jumped at the opportunity to tell you all about it. Since graduation - give or take a day - I've been thinking about going back to school. But, like everyone else, a million things put it on the back burner. 

"I am NOT going to be a bartender with a master's degree." - initial job hunting days sucked.

"I just started at this job, I CAN'T distract myself with school right now." - entry-level suck-up.

"Agh! I'm engaged! planplanplanplanplanBREATHEplan!"- wedding planning takes a lot out of ya. 

And here we are. Two months after our wedding day and I'm registered for the GRE. And I think Darrell is just as excited about it as I am; although, perhaps just because if I'm studying, he can play video games...

But at any rate, he's excited. And I'm excited. And Cooper...well...

Love you too, pup.

Just Can't Help Ourselves

Wow am I glad it's Friday. 

Our company's national sales meeting was this week, completely online, so I've been spending the majority of my time with a phone to my ear and my hands to the keyboard. And today - I wake up with a stiff neck and absolutely could not turn my head to the left without excruciating pain.

Thank you, work, for literally being a pain in my neck.

Outside of that, life is finally getting back to normal. We've made it through the holidays and - gasp! - we actually have a weekend in front of us without plans for visitors or for to go out of town. This hasn't been the case since before the wedding, and quite frankly, we didn't know what to do with ourselves.

Yes - you guessed it; we made plans. But only for less than 24 hours of the weekend and only to visit my parents so Darrell can go hunting. I'm excited about this for three reasons:

1. I get to go shopping with my mom at Ikea; and
2. My dog gets to go hunting, which makes him very happy and very, very tired.
3. I like my dog happy and tired.

And actually, we finally got our thank you notes in the mail today, so I'll probably try wrangling Darrell pen-in-hand to help. I know, just when he thought everything wedding-related was over; but, he does have better handwriting than me...

Besides, we'll be home in time to watch the Packers playoff game on Sunday. Which makes me a good wife, right?

Right. Go Pack!