Seeking Advice. No, Really.

Advice.

When you're searching for something, or hoping to achieve a goal, it seems everyone has ideas about exactly how you should do it. Usually, it goes something like this:

"Just do what I did - (enter random example that doesn't really apply in your situation here) - you'll get there in no time and make millions of dollars doing it!"

And, because you're at a loss for what to do, you listen. You heed their advice, take it all in and hope that this was the key to success you had been missing all along. Surely, this time, you've done what it takes. 

In my case, I tend to seek out so much advice I wind up getting paranoid about my own methods. How do you know when you should follow advice over your gut, or vice versa?

To answer this question, I of course, asked for advice.

Via Twitter.

Or, The Twitter, as I like to call it.

Because I'm hip like that.

Anyway...I reached out to ask if anyone could give an example of advice that really helped them. My friend, Shawn (@ShawnMeier), obliged, supplying this little gem:

"There are 2 things you should never complain about: the things you can change, and the things you can't."

Obvious, right?

No? 

Yeah, me neither. He continues...

"In other words, if u can change something, do it. If u can't, don't bitch or worry cuz it's out of ur control. Just move on."

And you know what? He's exactly right. For he past few weeks months, I've been doing everything I can think of to improve my situation. I haven't been writing because I've devoted all spare time to one project and - because the solution hasn't presented itself - I complain. 

I focus on all of the pieces I have no control over. I complain (OK, I downright whine) to my husband, who has been nothing but supportive as I struggle to make things happen. I retrace every step, wondering what I could have done differently when in fact, it's more likely that nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome. 

I've made the mistake of seeking advice from so many others that I've lost my own gut instinct. I think it's time for me to take a step back and realize, as much as it pains me to say it: Shawn was right. 

That was exactly what I needed to hear. Time to stop complaining. 

What about you? Have you ever gotten advice that truly solved your problem? How do you sort through the advice you get in order to find the advice you need?

The Bright Side

Ever have one of those absolutely fantastic, gloriously simple kind of days where everything just sort of falls into place?

Me neither - usually. But Friday could have invented that category.

I should probably rewind here and start from the beginning. Friday morning, I took the GRE. As you may know, I've been pseudo-studying for about five weeks for this entrance exam, staring down the only unknown between me and graduate school. But between work travel and adding a second four-legged son to the family, things have been hectic and the studying has fallen by the wayside. So, I wasn't feeling entirely prepared and was really dreading taking that test.

I totally rocked it. 

Did I get an out-of-this-world score? No. Did I get as good of a score as I would have had I studied more? Maybe, maybe not. But none of that matters because I got a better score than what I needed for both of the programs I'm considering. And I was flying high leaving that testing center knowing that all of the other pieces of my application are under my control. 

After the exam, I had a chance to meet up with an old friend. We had a photo shoot planned to help her build her growing portfolio but we were canceled because of the rain. 

And. It. Was. Awesome.

We rescheduled the shoot for a drier date yet-to-be-determined, so instead of us trying to awkwardly maneuver around puddles and mud, we had a chance to just sit and catch up on the six (seven?) or so years it's been since we've really spent any time together. And the ease with which we caught up around her dining room table reminded me of the exact reason we were close to inseparable for the better part of a decade. 

Because real friends don't have to catch up; you just pick up right where you left off.

After I left her apartment, the whole family got together for a spur-of-the-moment dinner in celebration of me surpassing my expectations for the GRE. It was unplanned, we had to wait and it was smokier than all get out in our favorite meeting spot. But the food was delicious, the beer was cold and I got a free pen from our favorite waitress. 

And it couldn't have been better.

Keeping Tabs

So - as some or all of you know, I graduated from college more than two years ago. TWO years ago! I met some of the greatest people I've ever known, learned a ton of things I'll never forget and spent more nights forgetting than I'll ever remember. Unfortunately, things change after you graduate. 

Yes. I'm struggling with it. Back up off me. 

But because I no longer live just blocks away (or doors away) from my college-days best friends, making plans to see them has become a near-impossibility. Because I am no longer the constantly aspiring, A-student, damn-it-I'm-worth-it-point-of-view senior, I spend a lot of time thinking about the steps I didn't take and the ones I should or will. 

But you know that already. Hell, the name of this blog is "Un.Determined." I think we all know I have no idea where I'm going from here. All of that aside, however, I think it's worth mentioning that I've become completely jealous of all the people I know who are following their passions and at the risk of all things sane - doing what they do because they just have to do it. I'm just spending my days figuring out how to copy you. 

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or something like that, right?

Anyway, if you want to know more about what I mean, just take a look at some of the folks I'm "Keeping Tabs" on. So this post is for you - all of the folks that I'm gaining as great new friends and some pretty awesome old ones I'm getting back in touch with. And if you know of more awesome (yes, I hate myself for not coming up with a more applicable word than awesome, but get over it) people I should follow, let me know.

Because all I hope to do is realize some of my passions - writing being number one - and spend some time growing up with all of you. I admire that you're all doing the exact same thing, right in front of me.

And I'm working on getting past the fact that it's not OK to put on a sorority or college T-shirt EVERY day. 

Give me some time.