TGIF

Surely at some point, everyone who writes anything has written those four letters. 

TGIF. Thank God It's Friday. 

I'm definitely feeling that today - the idea of having a weekend ahead of me with no plans outside of getting homework done sounds so supremely satisfying that I could not wait for it to be here. 

So yes, TGIF. And TGIS tomorrow with another TGIS after that. 

After all, it's been a tough week. Work has been hectic and school is really starting to get the best of me. But I heard a song today that reminds me of all the wonderful things that I am completely lucky to have. And just hearing those words - or the words of many other songs with the same effect - really helps put things in perspective. 

(If you're wondering, it's Lucky Man, by Montgomery Gentry - very country but makes a very good point; plus, there's a Bengals reference!)

So in light of seeing how lucky I am, I'm very thankful it's Friday and that I have an entire weekend to enjoy the lucky life I live. 

I hope you'll all do the same.

These nights are gonna be tough.

Hi friends. 

I had class tonight, and was therefore out of my house for about 15 hours today. So you'll forgive this being a complete and total cop-out post, right?

Right. 

(Hey, I promised I'd write every day, not that there'd be total gems everyday). 

Goodnight, folks - I'll strive for excellence tomorrow. 

Nobody Said it was Easy

Actually, wait - someone did. Someone was wrong.

Caution. Blog post contains serious whining and self-pity. Eye rollers beware. 

This semester has been...

Overwhelming. Defeating. Insufferable. Gosh darn it, just downright mean. 

And of course, it's only the beginning of November; which, unfortunately, means the semester is just starting to heat up. 

God help me. 

A word to the wise: when someone tells you that two graduate classes plus a full-time job is feasible ... laugh. And then have them committed, because that person has lost their mind. 

Two classes is hard. Two classes is ridiculously hard - and it's kept me from being available here. Which sucks. And it's kept me from visiting my new FANTASTIC nephew, Lincoln. 

Yup. That's double-suck. Maybe even quadruple-suck, because Lincoln is just that freakin' awesome. He was born October 20th and so far, Auntie-hood is awesome. 

Did I mention he's awesome?

Yup. Awesome. 

(I had to end on a good note, right? Right.)

Ghetto NaNoWriMo

You may or may not know this, but November is National Novel Writing Month, or, as the cool kids call it, NaNoWriMo. While I have no intentions of writing - or even beginning - a novel this month given my current schedule, it is definitely something I've considered doing more than once. 

That said, I think NaNoWriMo can serve a purpose, albeit a somewhat twisted one, here. So rather than following in the tradition, I fully intend to exploit the enthusiasm for NaNoWriMo and convince myself to write something - anything - every day in November. 

I promise no gems, I promise no epiphanies, but I do promise that I will be here, every day, for the next thirty days. So will you be here to hold me accountable?

Good. Glad to hear it. 

So here goes - surely this counts as the first day's post, right? 

Or maybe I should say, write. 

Either way, see you tomorrow!

My Hero.

OK. We've discussed my inability to embrace free time.

Unfortunately, that means I often ... well ... over-book myself.

This week has been a prime example. Somehow I thought being a graduate student, a (fairly) new employee, a wife, a housekeeper and a dog-mom was not enough. Nope - I had to add home remodeler to the list.

Yep. That's right - we've begun the remodeling on our retro bathroom. The pink tile is gone (GONE!), the bathtub is in place and the room is taking shape. And if there's anything I can share with those looking to remodel their own homes, it's this:

1. Homes built in the 60's were NOT built to be remodeled. They were built to have ugly pink tile. For.Ev.Er.
2. Swinging a sledgehammer is SO MUCH FUN.
3. Dads are awesome. 

I'd like to focus on that last one, for a minute. As stressed out as I've been this week, I am so grateful that my dad has been as helpful as he's been in helping us with the house. It's a mess and it's tough work and he's gone along like it's nothing. I've never been more thankful that Daughter is perpetually on my list of roles.

Today is my dad's 59th birthday. He's counting down the days to his retirement from GE where he's worked for thirty-some-odd years. He's strong and thoughtful and smart. He has the largest most loving heart of anyone I've ever met.

He's amazing. And while he's stubborn and bullheaded and downright impossible to disagree with, he's my dad.

And he's awesome.

Happy Birthday Dad. I love you.

Writing

I write every day for work.  

I write every day for school. 

I write emails, text messages and even notes to myself on paper.

So sometimes, something as simple and as enjoyable as writing this blog just doesn't make the list for the day. Or for the week. Or in this case, for the last month.

But I've missed you so and today seemed like the perfect day for that streak to stop. In hindsight, starting grad school and a new job in the same week was probably not the best decision I've ever made. In fact, I'd probably put it somewhere in the realm of coloring my hair with a permanent marker in high school. 

Actually, that didn't turn out too badly. Maybe I could use purple streaks again...

But all that said - I hope to be able to start writing more again. Reading for class is causing a severe drain on my time, but here's hoping. 

Til next time.

World Domination: Phase Two.

Just in case you were wondering: Yes. I am still alive. And this time - I have very, very big news. 

I will be starting a new career exactly one week from Monday - as a Copywriter / Proofreader downtown.

I'm beyond excited. I've been avoiding writing anything as my job search heated up because I needed to focus all my energy on finding something that could genuinely make me happy. That, and I noticed that my posts were getting increasingly negative, and no one wants to read that garbage. 

Hell, I didn't want to write that garbage. 

In fact, I avoided posting anything until I had something positive to say. I think there's an old saying that goes sort of like, "If you don't have anything nice to say, it's probably best to avoid public places. And people. And the interwebs." 

Or something like that.

So, I prepared for classes -- which, of course, I'll be starting the same week as my new job -- and tracked down this fantastic position. And now, now that I have a shiny, everything-is-new-and-wonderful outlook on my career and life in general, I figured we could get to know each other again. Isn't that fantastic?

Good. I knew you'd be excited.

Oh - and to go along with a major life/career change, I thought it was only fitting to throw in a major appearance change, so I chopped off my hair. Enjoy.

Seeking Advice. No, Really.

Advice.

When you're searching for something, or hoping to achieve a goal, it seems everyone has ideas about exactly how you should do it. Usually, it goes something like this:

"Just do what I did - (enter random example that doesn't really apply in your situation here) - you'll get there in no time and make millions of dollars doing it!"

And, because you're at a loss for what to do, you listen. You heed their advice, take it all in and hope that this was the key to success you had been missing all along. Surely, this time, you've done what it takes. 

In my case, I tend to seek out so much advice I wind up getting paranoid about my own methods. How do you know when you should follow advice over your gut, or vice versa?

To answer this question, I of course, asked for advice.

Via Twitter.

Or, The Twitter, as I like to call it.

Because I'm hip like that.

Anyway...I reached out to ask if anyone could give an example of advice that really helped them. My friend, Shawn (@ShawnMeier), obliged, supplying this little gem:

"There are 2 things you should never complain about: the things you can change, and the things you can't."

Obvious, right?

No? 

Yeah, me neither. He continues...

"In other words, if u can change something, do it. If u can't, don't bitch or worry cuz it's out of ur control. Just move on."

And you know what? He's exactly right. For he past few weeks months, I've been doing everything I can think of to improve my situation. I haven't been writing because I've devoted all spare time to one project and - because the solution hasn't presented itself - I complain. 

I focus on all of the pieces I have no control over. I complain (OK, I downright whine) to my husband, who has been nothing but supportive as I struggle to make things happen. I retrace every step, wondering what I could have done differently when in fact, it's more likely that nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome. 

I've made the mistake of seeking advice from so many others that I've lost my own gut instinct. I think it's time for me to take a step back and realize, as much as it pains me to say it: Shawn was right. 

That was exactly what I needed to hear. Time to stop complaining. 

What about you? Have you ever gotten advice that truly solved your problem? How do you sort through the advice you get in order to find the advice you need?

Chronology of Change

There's been quite a bit of excitement in the last week: a well-intentioned communication plan imploded at work, my new student orientation at NKU was more than enough to have me begging for fall, and the 2011 edition of the AP Stylebook was announced. 

Oh. I'm the only one who thinks that's exciting? 

Very well, then. 

With all of the excitement, I barely realized that Friday marked my being a married woman for exactly six months. 

Six months!

I can't believe it's been that long and at the same time, I can't imagine how we fit so much change into such a small time frame. We bought a new car, rescued a puppy and watched the Packers win a Super Bowl (believe me, to the husband, that's a big deal). I survived my first round of conventions, he survived another sales season and we both managed to survive the second rainiest month in Cincinnati history. We celebrated holidays, took a vacation and we found out we're soon to be an aunt and uncle!

Most importantly, all of this change has proven to be exciting. We've owned our home for a full year. I decided to return to school. The tiny little addition to our family has stolen our hearts and eaten his way to his nearly full-grown weight.

But as we question our decision to purchase high-quality puppy food at his current consumption rate, we're sure of one thing:

Change is good.

Well, that...and that it's been a great six months.

Puppy Mom, extraordinare.

Growlgrowlsnarlgrowlbarkbarkhowl. 

Ah, the pleasures of having two dogs in the house. 

Now don't get me wrong, I love them both. Cooper - as you know - might be the best dog on the planet. Or at least, we're beginning to realize that now that we have Lambeau around. 

Lambeau. He's cute, he's snuggable (yes, that's a word because I said it is) and he keeps Cooper entertained 90% of the time. But he's a puppy. 

And he pees. A LOT. 

I barely remember the puppy phase with Cooper. I'm sure he was just as rotten and adorable and obnoxious, but I barely remember it. I know he chewed on a few things, broke a few things and made a few unmentionable messes around the house.

But Lambeau has perfected the get-in-trouble-but-be-so-cute-they-can't-stay-mad act. He just wags his little tail (or, if he's really excited, his whole back half) and you can't help but forgive the little guy. 

Oh yeah - and he's a hound. So he has those hound dog eyes. Those sad, mournful, why-are-you-mad-at-me-mommy eyes. So you can't be. You just can't. 

No seriously. You CAN'T. 

Love you too, buddy.

Accepted!

How many posts am I going to start by saying I know it's been a while?

Well, at least one more. I know, it's been a while. 

Lucky for you, the travel is pretty much over for the time being; which, of course, means I'll have more time to devote back to writing.

But what brings me to my laptop tonight was a breaking development last night that I just have to share - I got accepted into Grad school! Granted, if you're reading this, you probably also saw this on Facebook, Twitter or my gleaming face, but I'm excited so I'm sharing it from every avenue I can. 

It really happened quickly, and I'm glad for that; I'm not exactly known for my patience. So now, I have to put that patience to the test as I wait painstakingly until fall to begin classes. 

But as excited as I am, I'm at least equally nervous. It's been three years since I've taken a test, researched a paper or studied theory. It's going to be a lot tougher than undergrad, but I'm thrilled to think about spending time back on campus - a new campus - with a whole world of learning to do.

So of course, we had to celebrate. I knew that leftover bottle of sparkling wine from New Year's would eventually come in handy.

Cheers!

Spilling.

All right. I've been ignoring you again.

Not that I want to make excuses, but I'm right in the midst of one of the busiest travel seasons in my job (I leave again this Sunday) and I'm still frantically trying to navigate the whole, two-dog household thing. Needless to say, things have been a little off-the-charts busy lately and as much as I wish I could write...

Actually, I haven't had a damn thing to talk about in the last ten days. It's been work as usual and the whole grad school application process is nowhere near as interesting to anyone else as it is to me. But beneath the monotony of my day-to-day, my mind has been occupied with things I'm not quite ready to put to print. So I suppose there you have the real reason I've been avoiding you. It's not that I have nothing TO say, but rather I have nothing I CAN say.

It's funny - as much as this is supposed to be a free and unrestricted extension of myself, there are so many things I'm unable to post. So here I am, typing meaningless chatter and pointless small talk in order to avoid the inevitable spill.

So to put it briefly, vaguely and without really any satisfaction for either of us, the gears are turning. And for now, that's really all I can put to print.

The Bright Side

Ever have one of those absolutely fantastic, gloriously simple kind of days where everything just sort of falls into place?

Me neither - usually. But Friday could have invented that category.

I should probably rewind here and start from the beginning. Friday morning, I took the GRE. As you may know, I've been pseudo-studying for about five weeks for this entrance exam, staring down the only unknown between me and graduate school. But between work travel and adding a second four-legged son to the family, things have been hectic and the studying has fallen by the wayside. So, I wasn't feeling entirely prepared and was really dreading taking that test.

I totally rocked it. 

Did I get an out-of-this-world score? No. Did I get as good of a score as I would have had I studied more? Maybe, maybe not. But none of that matters because I got a better score than what I needed for both of the programs I'm considering. And I was flying high leaving that testing center knowing that all of the other pieces of my application are under my control. 

After the exam, I had a chance to meet up with an old friend. We had a photo shoot planned to help her build her growing portfolio but we were canceled because of the rain. 

And. It. Was. Awesome.

We rescheduled the shoot for a drier date yet-to-be-determined, so instead of us trying to awkwardly maneuver around puddles and mud, we had a chance to just sit and catch up on the six (seven?) or so years it's been since we've really spent any time together. And the ease with which we caught up around her dining room table reminded me of the exact reason we were close to inseparable for the better part of a decade. 

Because real friends don't have to catch up; you just pick up right where you left off.

After I left her apartment, the whole family got together for a spur-of-the-moment dinner in celebration of me surpassing my expectations for the GRE. It was unplanned, we had to wait and it was smokier than all get out in our favorite meeting spot. But the food was delicious, the beer was cold and I got a free pen from our favorite waitress. 

And it couldn't have been better.

Bows and Arrows

Valentine's Day has come and gone, and here we are on February 15th. And while I have fallen incredibly behind on posting (read: work trip that sucked the life out of me for a week), I absolutely refused to post on Valentine's Day out of principle. 

Why, you might ask? Isn't it just a stupid Hallmark holiday with no real value?

Whatever. It's my first Valentine's Day with the 100% positive, no-doubt-about-it last Valentine I'll ever have, and any waking hours I had outside of work I wanted to spend with him. We made absolutely no plans, swore off gifts and yet, when I walked in the door, there were flowers waiting for me. And he knew my favorite bouquet: inexpensive, beautiful flowers that don't break the bank but that inspire the same smile as dozens of generic roses. He knows I think expensive flowers are a waste of money but that fresh flowers in the house (of any variety) make me feel like a stupid, spoiled, silly little girl.

It's OK - if you have to leave to vomit, I'll wait. Seriously, go ahead, I'll wait. 

But isn't this what loving is all about? And indeed, what Valentine's Day SHOULD be about? It's not about making expensive plans at a lavish restaurant and throwing cash at a few stems that will wilt in less than a week. It's really about taking time to make the people in your life the priority they should be, and not allowing for the rest of life to get in the way. 

So I got flowers from my husband. On Valentine's Day. I also got a delicious dinner at Maya's, a little-known place we absolutely love, where we didn't have a wait and where the waitress cared enough to say, "You have been here before and I remember you, but I don't know your names." Seriously? I love this place and even if the food weren't absolutely amazing, I would come back because the people there are fantastic.

But it is amazing. So Carina, we'll see you again.

But most importantly, my husband knows what makes me happy. He bought me flowers to make me smile but didn't spend enough to make me worry about the expense. He took me to a place we both are THRILLED we've found, because the food is only as authentic as the people who serve it. He even held back the urge to tease as I suggested we go to Frisch's for coffee & hot fudge cake after dinner, refusing to admit we're too young to make such a date and allowing me to indulge in a childhood favorite.

And did I mention, he got me a new puppy from the Stray Animal Adoption Program (SAAP) for my birthday? One that stole my heart the moment we walked in and has been wreaking havoc ever since the sixth? 

Yeah. My husband is the greatest. 

Happy Valentine's Day.

Keeping Tabs

So - as some or all of you know, I graduated from college more than two years ago. TWO years ago! I met some of the greatest people I've ever known, learned a ton of things I'll never forget and spent more nights forgetting than I'll ever remember. Unfortunately, things change after you graduate. 

Yes. I'm struggling with it. Back up off me. 

But because I no longer live just blocks away (or doors away) from my college-days best friends, making plans to see them has become a near-impossibility. Because I am no longer the constantly aspiring, A-student, damn-it-I'm-worth-it-point-of-view senior, I spend a lot of time thinking about the steps I didn't take and the ones I should or will. 

But you know that already. Hell, the name of this blog is "Un.Determined." I think we all know I have no idea where I'm going from here. All of that aside, however, I think it's worth mentioning that I've become completely jealous of all the people I know who are following their passions and at the risk of all things sane - doing what they do because they just have to do it. I'm just spending my days figuring out how to copy you. 

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or something like that, right?

Anyway, if you want to know more about what I mean, just take a look at some of the folks I'm "Keeping Tabs" on. So this post is for you - all of the folks that I'm gaining as great new friends and some pretty awesome old ones I'm getting back in touch with. And if you know of more awesome (yes, I hate myself for not coming up with a more applicable word than awesome, but get over it) people I should follow, let me know.

Because all I hope to do is realize some of my passions - writing being number one - and spend some time growing up with all of you. I admire that you're all doing the exact same thing, right in front of me.

And I'm working on getting past the fact that it's not OK to put on a sorority or college T-shirt EVERY day. 

Give me some time.

Studying is hard.

Since the last post, I've been spending much of my free time ignoring you and studying up for the GRE. The test is just over five weeks away, so I'm working my way through a practice book and a stack of vocabulary flash cards virtually guaranteed to result in a better score on the GRE ... or at least, that's what they say. Thanks to my prep book, I've learned how to tackle analogies ( me : analogies = linebacker : quarterback) and tear through sentence ________ (completions).

However, the only thing I've learned from the flash cards is that some of these words have to be fake.

I mean, I have a fairly large vocabulary. I was a Journalism major, I've always enjoyed reading and I play a mean game of Boggle. So how is it that I've never heard of the majority of them?

Exactly. Fake!

Glad you see it my way. Unfortunately, I don't think arguing with the ETS over the validity of their vocabulary will earn me any bonus points, so it looks like I'll be studying them regardless. But, I promise not to bore you every post with GRE updates and I promise not to confuse you by incorporating my new, fancy-schmancy vocabulary words.

After all, we both know I'm not actually going to remember them.

Here Goes Nothing

Well I've been thinking about it for a while, and - I'm going to Graduate School this fall! I (literally) just applied to take the GRE and I am bursting-at-the-seams excited!

Which, of course, is why I immediately jumped at the opportunity to tell you all about it. Since graduation - give or take a day - I've been thinking about going back to school. But, like everyone else, a million things put it on the back burner. 

"I am NOT going to be a bartender with a master's degree." - initial job hunting days sucked.

"I just started at this job, I CAN'T distract myself with school right now." - entry-level suck-up.

"Agh! I'm engaged! planplanplanplanplanBREATHEplan!"- wedding planning takes a lot out of ya. 

And here we are. Two months after our wedding day and I'm registered for the GRE. And I think Darrell is just as excited about it as I am; although, perhaps just because if I'm studying, he can play video games...

But at any rate, he's excited. And I'm excited. And Cooper...well...

Love you too, pup.

Just Can't Help Ourselves

Wow am I glad it's Friday. 

Our company's national sales meeting was this week, completely online, so I've been spending the majority of my time with a phone to my ear and my hands to the keyboard. And today - I wake up with a stiff neck and absolutely could not turn my head to the left without excruciating pain.

Thank you, work, for literally being a pain in my neck.

Outside of that, life is finally getting back to normal. We've made it through the holidays and - gasp! - we actually have a weekend in front of us without plans for visitors or for to go out of town. This hasn't been the case since before the wedding, and quite frankly, we didn't know what to do with ourselves.

Yes - you guessed it; we made plans. But only for less than 24 hours of the weekend and only to visit my parents so Darrell can go hunting. I'm excited about this for three reasons:

1. I get to go shopping with my mom at Ikea; and
2. My dog gets to go hunting, which makes him very happy and very, very tired.
3. I like my dog happy and tired.

And actually, we finally got our thank you notes in the mail today, so I'll probably try wrangling Darrell pen-in-hand to help. I know, just when he thought everything wedding-related was over; but, he does have better handwriting than me...

Besides, we'll be home in time to watch the Packers playoff game on Sunday. Which makes me a good wife, right?

Right. Go Pack!

TwentyEleven

I did it. I made a New Year's resolution that I could keep, and then did. 

I told people about you, little bloggy. 

Now, to be fair, I did it via twitter and Facebook around 1:00 a.m. New Year's Day, so probably only a slim few were awake or coherent enough to read that message and thereby only a few actually know, but I said I would release you today and I DID. Even if it was the chicken way to do it. :)

So now, I'm starting this year out on the right foot. I'm doing something that I love - writing - and I'll be doing my best to do it often. Which explains why even though there are still people at the house, I'm sitting at my laptop. Granted, the boys are busy dominating on COD (or so I hear) and Kylee is taking a nap...

Anyway, all of that aside, I'm looking forward to all that 2011 will bring. I'll spare you the boring recount of all of 2010 (see first post) but it was a busy year. A lot has changed in my life from getting married to buying a house, but I'm certain there's still a lot that this year can surprise me with.

And I'll be chattering away about all of it, right here.